Sometimes we drop and hit a bottom. We all do. Everyone of us. I don't care who you are, there is always self doubt. It's pushing past that self doubt that makes us who we are.
I hit it this morning. That stage of past tired, past giving it my
all. Sinking toward the bottom and I'm the girl who usually rallies
Screaming, hollering, waving my hands in the air like I don't give a damn, make some nonsense for my people, kinda girl.
That's who I am.
The tank runs dry sometimes though. It did this morning and out of that came goodness, in the least likely of places.
It's not socially correct. It's not rainbows, butterflies and sunshine. It is truth.
It is a convo between a friend.
I'd thought I would share:
Me: Things I want to tweet: OH FUCKING CHRIST- you people cannot be this inspirational every fucking day.
Does this make me a bad person?
Friend: No, this does not make you a bad person. I hate all that shit too.
Me: K.....just confirming my sanity
Friend: I'm here for you. I get the wanting to be positive bit and
posting it all the time. Makes you seem like a peace and love
Me: Or full of shit
Me: Unless people are in that point in their lives that they are
super happy. I get it. I have been there too. And others, not. Just
seem like there are those that JOYFULLY WORKOUT ALL THE TIME. I am being
Friend: You are not being mean. You are being honest, it's
patronizing and not for all athletes. You need to acknowledge the struggles
and failures. It what makes you better.
Me: Yuuuuuup. It sucks to go out there A LOT of the time, but we do. It's what makes us find our strong.
Friend: Yuuuuuuuuup. Growth doesn't come from happy and succeeding,
it comes from anger and failing. Make THAT a fucking bumper sticker.
Me: I fail A LOT. I pick myself A LOT. You're right. A great fucking bumper sticker.
As I am starting * Think and Grow Rich* (insert happy here) and
reading the first chapter about success and failure, never giving up,
this all makes sense.
My friend is right. It's not always happy.
So, instead of sulking in my fruit loops. ( I don't actually eat
those, although I DESPERATELY wish I could) My light came from an
unlikely text from an unlikely person. A true athlete.
Pick yourself up. Don't believe the hype and MOVE, girl.
Even as a coach, a mom, a rallier......
We all need to hear that from time to Time.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Mention a root vegetable and I am hooked and although beets are my favorite, it is not the time of year for their spunk. Turnips, Parsnips and carrots are still bountiful in winter and are hearty to chilly day soups. Great fiber and slow digesting carbs, you kinda got to love them.
So today I warmed up the kitchen with a split pea soup. Colorful to cook, easy to make and a wonder to taste. Peas are a great source of protein in this soup along with the turkey. Love meals in a bowl, simple and good.
This recipe is from Tosca Reno's "The Eat Clean" cookbook. My tastebuds wanted a little sweetness to it so I added nutmeg, and I added a bit more peas than what the recipe called for. I like it real big and chunky.
6 Tbsp OVO
3 Med carrots - I used 4
3 large parsnips- again, a few more
2 Med leeks - I used 4 ( love leeks)
1/2 cup fresh cilantro
2 1/2 tsp dried thyme
2 tsp dried marajoram
3 bay leaves
11 cups chicken broth - I used 13 due to the extra veggies
3 cups dried split peas
1 1/2 roasted turkey great, bone in
1. Heat ovo in heavy stockpot over low heat. Add root vegetables and dried herbs. Cover and cook until veggies are soft, about 20 minutes.
2. Add all chicken stock, peas and roasted meat. Simmer, partially covered and cook until peas are tender and the soup begins to thicken a little. This takes about 45 minutes.
3. Remove turkey and cut meat into 1 inch cubes. Disard the bone and remove bay leaves. Return meat to soup and serve.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
There is fun in addiction, but there is also chaos, and last week chaos ruled supreme. It spun out of control. I never realized it while it is happening. I'm to busy in the day to day activities that must be accomplished to stop and think. Oh, that is why I am so sporadic and attention needy this week. Where did I come unglued? As much as my social media sites must portray a girl who flies by the seat of her pants, I am one that must have organization and order. This week it seemed to all come unraveled. It was time to stop, gather thoughts and focus.
My first thought, was were did this come from? A bit of anxiety. Ahhh.... Monday came with an trip to Indy for the girls doctor's appointments. I am accustomed to fighting these out alone. There have been some horrendous trips to Indy and several of those trips resulting in many a tears in the car ride home. The last year though, they have been relatively calm. Nothing more than a gait analysis and med checks for the girls. Mondays visit brought a surprise. It comes in a fog, as most of the horrors do, but what I heard was Baclofen pumps, new medication and the spasticity is worsening. The first time I had heard that they were not progressing ,but a bit of regression. Baclofen Pumps, I was told, are discs surgically inserted into my precious children's belly's with a tube that wraps around their side internally to inject medicine directly into their spinal cord. My precious children.
My girls are old enough and mature enough to know what another surgery means. At this point they are horrified of them, we have been through so many. Needless to say, it was another long car ride home trying to calm my feeling while doing the same for my girls. Keep Strong, it's all I kept saying over and over. Be Strong. The medicine will help, the pump will help. We will keep moving forward. Keep Strong. You have to, for your own sanity and for your girls.
It's taken four days to process it all, to comprehend the message that the spasticity is progressing, to accept it and make a plan. Focus. Find purpose, girl. You may be temporary defeated, but you are never down. You came unglued this week for a reason, you were delivered a blow. It's okay to crash, fall down, but now it's time to get back up. It's time to focus and reorganize.
I find I wear way to many hats. Hats I enjoy wearing, they are sparkly and fun and full of life. Derby hats, but life cannot always be a party. A momma, wife, triathlete dealing with a reconstructive foot injury, Office Manager, running and triathlon coach, and aspiring bikini/figure competitor. Whew. Throw in that I cook all our meals daily, organic and clean. I have little time to spare. I am a proud Polar Ambassador, and part of Team Fitbody and PRSFIT. I have a few obligations.
This is where the addiction kicks in. In order to give my personal best to all my responsibilities,I must cut down on social media sites. I find I log into Twitter, Facebook, Google plus at least 4-5 times a day. Just not productive and I find that I cannot express what I want to say on those platforms.I end up reading others post and get lost in what I was going about doing. It's an addiction. My media sites do not serve a purpose, do not have focus and it's time to change that.
My solution to this all is to limit my time on social media and connect with those who I find inspiring and whom I have built relationships with. Hub it all to my blog.
Here is my purpose:
Blog at least weekly on subjects that inspire and interest me. Triathlon, Running, coaching, my athletes, bikini comps, healing an injury, food, and a healthy living lifestyle. They are most important to me and what my life revolves around, besides my family.
Keep it simple. Use the blog as my main media and stick to the subject matter that supports that.
It was a wake up call this week that I need to get my head out of my phone, Xoom and computer and go enjoy my family. Not an abandonment, but a restructure of my original purpose. Sometimes it takes a wake up call to bring you back to that. Mine came this week in a lot of self realization. It's time to bring it all home. Enjoy your social Media, it has brought you good friends and a great career, just don't be consumed by it. Go Be Strong, girl. Enjoy life and most importantly the life that exist outside the virtual world.